November 1983 was a remarkable time for me. My brother Pushpan and his family came from England to see my mother who was sick. I had already come home from North India to look after my mother. Pushpan spent 45 days with us, the longest time I ever spent with my brother since he left home.

One day we all visited one of Pushpan's friends, who was a pastor in Kerala. I was happy to go with him since I was always looking for Christians to attack because these Christians took my brother away. We stayed overnight there and had a good talk with the pastor. He explained to me what sin was, the fact that Jesus could take my sins and I didn't have to make the sacrifice of going to the temple anymore.

Since the next morning was Sunday, there was a church service in a cattle shed. There I asked the Lord Jesus to forgive my sins. This was my first step in getting to know Jesus.

Pushpan took every effort to get a Malayalam (my mother tongue) Bible for me in Calcutta. Ten he and his gamily went to Finland where his wife was raised. When came back to Bihar. I bound the Bible up with a couple of rubber bands and put it in a corner for good. I said to myself, "I don't have time to read this Bible. This is for the people who have time to sit, relax and read. I am busy with my temple choirs," the day I packed away the Bible, I felt like I was like I was beginning to lose my joy and peace.

Two years went by and I felt like I was totally abandoned. Nobody cared for me, I thought. There was a real emptiness in me. I thought that if could move to any place that I might come back to my normal life. So I left Bihar and came to New Delhi. The next day I found a temple where I could go and worship God. I got the same position in that temple as a choir director, but my soul was thirsty like deer pants for streams of water.

One day someone inside me asked, "where is your Bible and why don't you pray about your situation?" I wrote to my sister-in-law to send me Bile from Bihar.

After I received the Bible, one night after all the others had gone to bed, I slowly got up and opened it. I read it for a little time and prayed. Soon after the prayer, I felt like I had a little peace. I thought that may be this is the real God who could hear my prayers.

From that point on, I slowly started to make friendships with Christian people and one day I went to a church. After the church service, l some people invited me to their home for lunch. In the middle of our conversation, they said, "Thilak, you are a sinner," I said, "I know that," They told me that I should receive Jesus Christ as my Saviour and Lord today. I agreed. One of the four there prayed for me. After that I felt like the heavy burden that I was carrying had become a little lighter. When the second person prayed, the burden became lighter still. By the time the fourth person spoke to God, I could move my head very freely. I ran to my room and cried. This was the real God who took away my burdens. This was my turning point in becoming a Christian.

For 6 months in the morning I went to the Church. In the evening I went to the temple. I didn't want to leave my tradition in the temple, but in order to go to the church, I had to catch the bus which goes by the temple. In the beginning I was ashamed to carry my Bible, so I would cover it with a newspaper. Just before I got into the church, I would put the newspaper in my pocket and open my Bible. When I went back home, I would cover it up again.

In New Delhi, I was baptized and it was after this that the Lord started to pour out his blessings on me one after another.

I went to the USA in 1986 to study business and it was there that I got a chance to grow in the Lord. When I attended a huge missions conference, Urbana '87, I dedicated my life to serve the Lord. Since then, the Lord has been directing my life to serve Him and I changed my major and went to San Jose Christian College, then to Columbia Biblical Seminary. After graduating from CBS in1996, my family ad I returned to India to tell my own people about this great guru, the Lord Jesus Christ, in whom "alone" we can have salvation from our sins and eternal life.

May the Lord bless you through my testimony. You may have grown up as a Hindu, Muslim or something else. If you want to see God, you must turn to Jesus Christ. I learned that only after 21 years of searching. Your may ask why I want to see God. The Bible keeps reminding us, "Prepare to meet your God" (Amos 4:12).

THILAK PAPPU.

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